Hello loved ones. ☺️ Thank you for joining me on this journey to Haiti. I plan on writing a post once every 1-2 weeks, but please forgive me if I’m not as consistent as I would hope to be.
I will be writing about a mix of different things for these posts. Mostly, I will write about the following two areas:
1. I will be giving you little updates and prayer requests for MOH, the Haitians, my fellow interns and myself.
2. I would love to introduce you to people I have the pleasure to serve alongside of this summer. Whether that be a Haitian worker on the MOH campus, a child in a village or at VBS, a North American spending a week out of there summer to serve, a fellow intern, or a long-term missionary at MOH. I would love to illustrate their distinctive characteristics and giftedness that points directly towards Christs idenity.
For my first post, I wanted to open up to you about what God has been teaching me in the past few weeks in preparation for this 10 week internship.
All throughout the second half of my college semester, I would often find myself making this “ideal picture” of who I wanted and needed to be in a short matter of months, then weeks, and then the last few days before moving to Haiti. This ideal picture looked like a number of things to me (i.e. reading my Bible a certain amount of times a day, watch Netflix waaayy less, journal consistently my progress throughout the months leading up to leaving, etc). While these are great goals to strive for, I was convincing myself that I would be a better leader for the summer once these things were being done all the time. Instead of these goals pushing me to be better, it became such an exhausted list of “good works” to be completed prior to leaving.
I remember praying and apologizing for feeling so unprepared for Haiti. In that moment, Gods Grace completely washed over me and I felt so much lighter. God reminded me of how yes, while those goals are incredibly important to Him, the “goals” I had made for myself are a process. They aren’t billeted lists where I could pretend to transform into a different person within a short matter of weeks.
These past few weeks it felt as if I had more weaknesses and vulnerabilities revealed to me than my strengths. I believe God meets everyone in their own unique way to deepen his/her dependence on Him. Whether someone feels closest to Him during times of thanksgiving or during times of weaknesses and insecurities. In my experience, I need to have my weaknesses made so clear so I know I am never in control (this is NOT easy)!
God had to remind me the importance of vulnerability during this experience. He reminded me of how disheartening it has been after talking with someone about struggles, only to feel that they “have it all together” already and are unable to empathize with me. If I had gone to Haiti with the mentality of pretending that I was in a “really good place” in life (after checking off my bulleted list), I highly doubt the Haitians would have entrusted their hearts to me.
There needs to be a common ground shared in community. There needs to be healthy communication explaining that although we live in completely different countries and cultures, we still share the same emotional and spiritual battles. Rich or poor, skinny or plump, black or white, we are in desperate need for encouragement and accountability on a daily basis. We need to be open to vulnerability with one another in order to experience rich community.
A summer like this has been long awaited and it’s hard to believe it is finally here. I have written this post with blurry and tear-filled eyes as I fly to Haiti for the first of many days to come. I feel so incredibly blessed to serve alongside such wonderful Haitians, interns, and other MOH staff. Please pray for the Lord to open my eyes to see what He sees and for my heart to break for what breaks His.